Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
