I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
