she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
