I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
