Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Randomize
