just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
