apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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