I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
