Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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