Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
