Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
