just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
