Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
