so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
