We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
