the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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