Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
