goodnight i made you a song goodbye
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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