ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
