wat bout pragnant strippers??
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
When are your genitals available?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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