we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We need a shit load of segways right now
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
