got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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