Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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