life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
