I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
