Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
