if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
