Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
