I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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