This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
