Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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