dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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