Walk of Shame. In a state park.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
