Can Purell be used as lube?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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