Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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