Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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