Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
