what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
