I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We had to coat check the pizza.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
