told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
me + whiskey = a bad person
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
