omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
