Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
