If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
my liver is dry heaving
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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