Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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