Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
