He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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