my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
