I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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