he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
