Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
